One of the most interesting books I've read in the last couple of years is Thomas Boyce's "The Orchid and the Dandelion." While I recommend you read the entire book, this interview with Boyce on National Public Radio is a good start. For 30 years, Boyce has been researching why some children, i.e. Orchids, are more vulnerable to both stress and positive things in their environment whereas others, i.e. Dandelions, are able to function despite a high level of adversity. His research studies on children in the 20th century are congruent with genetic research in the last 10 years that shows the a set of genes associated with a person's stress response is correlated both with a range of mental illnesses and with resiliency, depending on the environment.
This research impacted me because it explains a lot of what I have experienced clinically and in my own life. As a Psychologist, I was struck by the way this concept opens up our understanding of resilience. The field of Psychology as well as the general public tends to think of resilience as the ability to function despite adversity, i.e. they are less sensitive to it. This is not the entire truth of resilience.
Orchids are often told by others that they need to "toughen up" because they are too sensitive, too emotional, dramatic, self-pitying, self-indulgent and "feeling sorry for themselves." Orchid children in abusive environments use their sensitivity to try to read the state of mind of their abusive parents and to predict their parents' behavior. They also sometimes survive an abusive parent by being emotional caregivers for them, anticipating their emotional needs and wishes. Orchid children in less abusive environments can experience things as overwhelming and even traumatic that might not seem objectively traumatic to others. This can cause conflict with Dandelion parents or spouses who may think they are helping their Orchid loved one by explaining to them they are overreacting and encouraging them to calm down. Orchids respond poorly to this and generally become even more emotionally dysregulated.
An interesting thing is that well-supported Orchids are generally at least as resilient as Dandelions and tend to contribute significantly to society as they are naturally responsive to the needs of other people, animals, and the natural environment. Moreover, their emotional emotional wellbeing can improve significantly when given the right kind of support, perhaps explaining their tendency to make significant progress in psychotherapy when there are ready.
