Thursday, May 28, 2020

Healthy Relationship Triangle

This is a follow up post to my post "Karpmann Drama Triangle."  I created this triangle to help people understand what healthy alternatives were to the Drama Triangle.

In a healthy, mutual relationship between adults, both people will take turns playing all three roles. In a parent-child relationship, the Parent plays the Support and Assertive Role on behalf of his/her child and the Child plays the Vulnerable and Assertive Role on behalf of him/herself.

                                              Support Role

Assertive Role                                                              Vulnerable Role

Support Role

Someone else is hurting and I love them. For this reason, I will offer practical and/or emotional support to them. If I do not have what they need, it does not mean I do not care about them or are putting them in danger. It is not wrong to say no.

Assertive Role

Someone did something that hurt me or someone I care about. For this reason, I will assert myself on behalf of myself or someone I care about. I am not seeking retaliation. I respect the feelings and needs of the person I am talking to as I assert myself.

Vulnerable Role

I have natural needs for affection, attention, support, quality time, and encouragement from a Supportive Person. Vulnerability exists in everyone even if there is no Supportive Person or an inadequate Supportive Person. When I am in this role, I can choose whether or not to seek support, from whom, and how much I want to be vulnerable. I can also choose not to be in a relationship with someone and/or set boundaries with them while staying in relationship.